Time confuses truth
8,400 hours 12 Minutes ago on Aug 9, 2010, many questioned if I would survive the 30’ fall. For weeks they wondered if I would survive the next night.
8 months ago many wondered if I would ever walk or have the use of my right arm and hand.
6 Months ago, Doctors told me I should find new interests, they said I shouldn’t drive, shouldn’t try and would never sail again
4 months ago I was still in a wheel chair and needed help bathing
On April 27, 2011, with much help, I set a ladder next to our sail boat and struggled 9’ up to begin preparations to sail again.
On June 23, 2011 we returned to the sea.
July 22, 2011, 10 days and over 400 miles sailed.
“Against all Hope”, Almighty God has continued to coax me forward
Friday, July 22, 2011
Monday, January 17, 2011
A Fall to Grace
In modern English we use the word know to express many thoughts. As long as I can remember I knew there was a God, then one day I met Him and what I knew became more real. Very recently the things that I knew were tested. I am here tonight to tell you how that happened and how that testing propelled my hopes into reality. The reality that God Almighty loves me , and if He loves me then he must love you. Because he loves us--- he cares for us--- and because he cares--for us,, he helps us.
Those who know me will probably agree that I have a tendency to go off the deep end with things that capture my attention. By this I mean that I generally don't dabble in my interests, instead I dive into them. What you might not know is that there are very few things that I've ever wanted to do that I have not done. Normally to excess.
That behavior has guaranteed that my life, and the life of my family have normally been interesting and often exciting. That being said nothing could have prepared me or my family for the roller coaster ride of the last 5 1/2 months.
The morning of Monday August 9th started off as very common,-- there was nothing special about the day. Two weeks before I had begun in addition project on a house in Rumson. I didn't intend to strap on my tool belt but I had to keep the job moving, I had be the lead carpenter.
With the help of men that I hired on a daily basis we completed 90% of the demolition work and had framed out the new second-floor and roof system. All but one piece of plywood roof sheathing was in place and with the threat of rain and a nor'easter bearing down I was anxious to begin and complete the roof shingles.
While my three-man crew was carrying out whatever instructions I given them I sliced off a 3 to 4 foot piece of tarpaper stuck a slap hammer and a box of staples in my tool belt and climbed the 28 foot ladder onto the roof. For reasons that I cannot remember I went to the very top of the roof to tack down piece of tarpaper,, 30 feet above the ground.
I stapled the tarpaper down on one side and stepped over the ridge, as I bent down to begin stapling the second side I saw and felt the tarpaper begin to tare free from the roof. As my feet flew out from under me I heard myself say, "Jesus, please help me". Then time almost stopped. My life, as I knew it, was about to drastically change.
I grew up in a good home. In my preteen years I attended church and Sunday school with my parents-- I even sang in a church choir. However, by the time I was in my mid teens I decided that church and religion were a farce. I knew that God was real but I failed to see the evidence of Him in organized religion.
I was 15 when I first became aware of God's presence while skiing alone on a mountaintop in Vermont. I decided that God did not reside in churches but on the mountaintops. For the next eight years I avoided church, using my mountaintop experience as a justification.
In 1977 I attended a church service with my wife and a couple that God was using to introduce her to Jesus. I'm sure that I reminded Katherine as we drove to the evening service of my opinion that God was not in churches . I must have repeated my standing challenge, that God would have to touch me in a church, the way he had on the mountain top for me to believe. God tolerated and accepted my challenge. During the worship service the reality of his presence fell on me like a huge rock. I was so captivated by Him that I stood through the entire service. Fortunately, we were in the back row. The following week I responded to an altar call. The pastor asked me why I had come forward. I wasn't sure--- I told him “I want to be with Jesus”.
Within a year of my surrender to Jesus, Katherine and I sold our home and almost everything we owned. We loaded our two children into a beat up old Ford station wagon with a partly burned-out transmission and headed off for Dallas Texas to attend Christ for the Nations Institute. CFNI is a mission-based nondenominational Bible college started by Gordon Lindsay, an evangelist and teacher who came from the era of traveling tent ministries. We went there to know God more personally and in deeper way and to learn how to understand his word on our own.
The inspiration to head off to Texas came through a coworker that I was attempting to share salvation with one night, during lunch break. He asked me "how do you know ?" I had no answer for him. The fact is, at that point in my life the things that I thought I knew were all secondhand. I had not learned or read them for myself but I had been told them during a church service or Bible study. Please remember, my personality almost demands that I drop everything and dive in. Jesus had captivated my attention, three church services a week weren't enough --there was nothing else I could do. I didn't realize then that Church services, Sunday school, and Bible studies do more than just teach about God and his word, – they also build a sense of fellowship and community. I didn't understand yet that we learn, experience and share the love of Christ through close fellowship with one another. It's important to study and understand God's word but raw knowledge just become rules unless they are experienced through God's love.
For the next two and half years we were surrounded by the fellowship of other believers who shared our desire to understand and live in the kingdom. Every day, because of the communal intensity of the environment, we experienced his presence, His love and tenderness-- we witnessed God's miraculous powers in our family and those around us.
I knew the day that I committed to attend CFN I that God had called me to serve him. I didn't know how exactly or where but I was positive it wasn't in New Jersey. I used to boldly proclaim that I was never going back to New Jersey unless God drug me there kicking and screaming. That's exactly what he did. Once again God graciously and patiently tolerated then responded to my challenge.
After returning to New Jersey God blessed us with homes, good health and jobs, lots of jobs. Unfortunately, due to my own pride and callousness, we never became deeply connected to a fellowship of believers . Consequently there was no one who picked up the phone when we stopped showing up for Wednesday night and ultimately Sunday morning fellowship.
Left to fend for ourselves spiritually it was easy to drift away. God remained part of our lives but he was no longer central. When the normal everyday troubles of a young family came, as they always do, I ultimately would look back up at God and asked for his help. In his completely unwavering love he was always there, He always answered.
Luke chapter 8 records Jesus’ parable of the sower.
..“A farmer went out to sow his seed. As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path; it was trampled on, and the birds ate it up. Some fell on rocky ground, and when it came up, the plants withered because they had no moisture. Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up with it and choked the plants. Still other seed fell on good soil. It came up and yielded a crop, a hundred times more than was sown.” …..
Jesus explains the parable starting in verse 11
..“The seed is the word of God. Those along the path are the ones who hear, and then the devil comes and takes away the word from their hearts, so that they may not believe and be saved. Those on the rocky ground are the ones who receive the word with joy when they hear it, but they have no root. They believe for a while, but in the time of testing they fall away. The seed that fell among thorns stands for those who hear, but as they go on their way they are choked by life’s worries, riches and pleasures, and they do not mature. But the seed on good soil stands for those with a noble and good heart, who hear the word, retain it, and by persevering produce a crop.
THANK GOD the seed that falls among the thorns does not die, our Lord is the perfect gardener. The certainty of God's love and our security in Christ is not based on our ability to be good or follow a set of rules. Our security and hope, yours and mine are based entirely on the goodness of Christ and the love of God Almighty. God is able, if we are willing, to plow up the hard ground, to remove the rocks and weed the garden because it is His will, His desire that we know him and be free to be transformed into the image of Jesus.
On August 25, 2005 I was buried alive 30 feet down as the result of a trenching accident. Almost all cave-in or trench accidents or fatal. The situation was so grim that the rescue workers, over hundred of them, didn't actually think that there was a hope of rescuing me. Some bystanders have told me that they treated it as a drill and a recovery operation. In fact they turned back the medevac helicopter that had been dispatched to take me to the hospital. With God's miraculous help I escaped that accident with nothing more than a scraped elbow. I foolishly interpreted God's grace as God's approval instead of running into his arms because of his miraculous intervention I blindly continued down my own thorn covered path.
Then the economy started to fall apart. The new housing market, where I made my living, went down the tubes. Over the years I had gone from doing odd jobs to be a senior purchasing manager of the world's third largest builder. To reduce costs the company chose to close down the central Jersey office where I was employed. Recognizing that I was about to be downsized took the offer to be CEO of a window company. I didn't seek God's guidance before making that decision. I should have, the company already in trouble and it soon lost its contracts and closed. There were too few jobs and too many good people available in the industry that I had worked in for the last 20 years. As a result salaries and wages went down drastically.
Against my wife's objections I formed a new remodeling company and went back into business for myself. This worked out well for two years and then the remodeling business drastically slowed as well. In 2009 the gaps between contracts grew progressively longer. All of the plans that I had so carefully formulated crumbled. Like quicksand, the more I tried the worse things became.
I thought we were over the hump when I was hired to build an addition on a house in Rumson. Then there was another addition project job, much closer to home. Between the two of these jobs 2010 was going to be okay, or so I thought.
In order to man the Rumson job I had formed a loose verbal partnership with another contractor. When the time came to begin the job the other contractor was AWOL. For many reasons, not the least of which were money and reputation, I was anxious to begin on time so I hired day laborers to serve as the necessary muscle and we began demolition. The other contractor would sort out whatever was going on in his life and return my calls any day, he didn’t. Demolition was completed and I put on my tool belt. We poured the footings, set the pillars, and framed the second floor deck. My 55-year-old bones were not enjoying it but this work is exhilarating and I was finding satisfaction in the fact that the job was moving forward. We were still on schedule.
We completed the roof framing and most of the roof sheathing on Saturday. The next day- Sunday- Katherine joined me as I captained the County pump-out boat on the lower Barnegat Bay. On Monday morning August 9th three strong young men helped me complete the roof sheathing.
The weatherman was predicting a nor'easter to hit the area in about four days. There was just enough time, to apply the roof shingles, hang the wall sheathing and watertight the addition, or so I thought.
The first words as my feet slipped out from under me were "Jesus please help me” then as I shot off the roof like a kid on a waterslide,, I hollered--, maybe screamed,-- to the neighbor “call 911”.
I fell accelerating to over 32 miles an hour. The concrete paved patio rushed up in slow motion for just over a second. I remember thinking, "this is really going to hurt", then blinding pain. We had been careful the week before to move the patio furniture to the backyard out of harms way before we began demolition. Miraculously the picnic table had reappeared on the patio. I don't recall seeing it that morning but the wreckage proves it was there.
The impact drove the ball at the head of my femur through my pelvis and broke my pelvis in two more places. My right forearm had multiple compound fractures, the bones in my forearm were shattered, both of my hands were broken, along with four ribs.--- One of my lungs had collapsed but I was alive and conscious.
The police officers that responded only minutes later were also the paramedics. One of them warned me before they picked me up, “were are going to have to hurt you”. He was right. I pleaded with them to give me something for the pain but they told me they couldn’t. There was some debate between them about what hospital they were going to take me to and during the trip they pulled over and stopped. I yelled to them “ make up your minds…lets get moving”, I didn't know how much longer I could hold on.
I never passed out but the effect of shock must've taken hold on me, from then on my memory is sketchy. I remember pulling into the hospital parking lot and the doors opening on the ambulance.
Then the faces of Katherine and my parents, their voices trying to reassure me that I was going to be OK. I felt God's healing power move from my father's hand into me, I knew they were right.
I don't know if they shot me full of painkillers, if it was shock or if I just finally passed out---- I woke up 5 1/2 weeks later-- Katherine was there. I would find out that she was almost always there. Sometimes with my parents, my children, my sister, Pastor Gene. There was also a never-ending parade of caregivers and doctors.
Loved ones tell me that I seem to wake up from time to time during the coma, then I would slip away. On one occasion Katherine asked me if I knew what happened. I told her that I fell off the roof. She then asked if I knew where landed I answered “in the palm of the hand of God”. Today nothing could convince me otherwise, He caught me.
Statistically I should be dead. I have been told there were times when I was only a heart beat away from that happening. The doctors were amazed that I could have the injuries that I did but not damaged my spine or cracked my skull. Some of them even use the word miracle.
The Bible teaches us that God knows the beginning and the end of all things, he knew us each long before we were born, and He has numbered our days. He knew that I would fall off that roof. Two days before the accident He set the wheels in motion to help my wife and family cope with what was about to happen.
My parents had been spending the summer with us. Several days before the accident mom and dad left to visit my brother in Maryland. Their plans were to go from my brother’s house then return to their home in Myrtle Beach to collect the mail and check on things. On Saturday, August 7th my father told my mother that he felt that they should change their plans come back to our house. He couldn't explain why he just thought they should. Mom agreed and on Sunday they drove the five hours back to our house. Dad had heard from the Holy Spirit and because he listened,--- because he listened they were standing in the room with Katherine when the police called to tell her, “Mrs. Cash, your husband is alive”.
How great is our God that he cares for us so tenderly and with such detail?
I laid in a coma for 51/2 weeks while a host of people who love me prayed for me. My ability to stand here before you now quite literally is a result of those prayers --God’s love, His power, and His willingness to answer prayer. My wife, children, family, Pastor Gene, many of you and hundreds of people around the world – most of whom I've never met called out to God on my behalf.
Some have told me about their prayers but if I tried to repeat their stories I would completely fall apart.
Something very special happened while I slept I don't have a visual memory of it but I know- without a doubt- that God touched me. In some way at some point I was in his presence. I’m sure of this because of the things I said and felt and knew when I woke up. Katherine and my parents will tell you that I couldn't speak his name for weeks without weeping, I still do. That I would cry and talk for hours about how grateful we should be that God would allow us to just sit in the corner in his banquet room let alone sit down at the table with him. I awoke with a new understanding of how incredibly wretched I actually am and that it is only by his love and grace that I shouldn't be instantly destroyed. This is not some case of self-loathing but a realization of His magnificence.
My new understanding of my own need for God's mercy comes with the un-yielding assurance that his mercy exceeds my need. That His mercy is driven by His love. I have been captivated by the reality that the most powerful God, the creator and sustainer of everything that there is actually knows me. He knows each one of us and cares for us individually, his love and mercy are unchanging and more real than anything else.
I believe that God is healing my body. I would like him to do it instantly and I know he is able but I also know that God's ways are not my ways and his purposes are higher than my purposes. Too often I have been to cavalier about His love and been careless with His treasures. Perhaps my limp will remind me of the truth?
Along the New Jersey coast there are boardwalks built over the dunes to give visitors access to the beach. I had a vision of one of those boardwalks during one of the long sleepless nights at the hospital. Along with the image came the thought that it's up to me to cross the Boardwalk to get to the beach, to get to the ocean- I love the ocean. I have choices; I can stay at the beginning of the boardwalk and never cross the dunes because the Boardwalk seems too long or too difficult. If I decide to cross the Boardwalk I can choose to look down and be distracted by the broken glass and empty beer cans or I can step over them, I can lift my eyes and look at the ocean, He calls to me. I could also choose at any time to sit down and stay where I am on the Boardwalk -- to just look at the ocean in the distance, but- I love the ocean, He calls my name and I am compelled to keep moving across the Boardwalk over the dunes, to the beach, to the ocean--- to Him.
The blessings I have received and witnessed from my fall far outweigh the cost. People turned their faces to God on my behalf and found him in the process. Lives have been changed, priorities reordered and relationships restored.
This isn't pleasant, this is life.
I don't know what any of you are going through but I'm sure you have your own obstacles, things to overcome, and a Boardwalk to cross. The obstacles are inevitable and the Boardwalk-- well it's really there to help us get were we need to be. So tonight I want to invite each of you,,,, come to the beach…. step over the obstacles,,, and fix eyes on Jesus. He never said it was going to be easy he said “he would never leave us or forsake us”
Those who know me will probably agree that I have a tendency to go off the deep end with things that capture my attention. By this I mean that I generally don't dabble in my interests, instead I dive into them. What you might not know is that there are very few things that I've ever wanted to do that I have not done. Normally to excess.
That behavior has guaranteed that my life, and the life of my family have normally been interesting and often exciting. That being said nothing could have prepared me or my family for the roller coaster ride of the last 5 1/2 months.
The morning of Monday August 9th started off as very common,-- there was nothing special about the day. Two weeks before I had begun in addition project on a house in Rumson. I didn't intend to strap on my tool belt but I had to keep the job moving, I had be the lead carpenter.
With the help of men that I hired on a daily basis we completed 90% of the demolition work and had framed out the new second-floor and roof system. All but one piece of plywood roof sheathing was in place and with the threat of rain and a nor'easter bearing down I was anxious to begin and complete the roof shingles.
While my three-man crew was carrying out whatever instructions I given them I sliced off a 3 to 4 foot piece of tarpaper stuck a slap hammer and a box of staples in my tool belt and climbed the 28 foot ladder onto the roof. For reasons that I cannot remember I went to the very top of the roof to tack down piece of tarpaper,, 30 feet above the ground.
I stapled the tarpaper down on one side and stepped over the ridge, as I bent down to begin stapling the second side I saw and felt the tarpaper begin to tare free from the roof. As my feet flew out from under me I heard myself say, "Jesus, please help me". Then time almost stopped. My life, as I knew it, was about to drastically change.
I grew up in a good home. In my preteen years I attended church and Sunday school with my parents-- I even sang in a church choir. However, by the time I was in my mid teens I decided that church and religion were a farce. I knew that God was real but I failed to see the evidence of Him in organized religion.
I was 15 when I first became aware of God's presence while skiing alone on a mountaintop in Vermont. I decided that God did not reside in churches but on the mountaintops. For the next eight years I avoided church, using my mountaintop experience as a justification.
In 1977 I attended a church service with my wife and a couple that God was using to introduce her to Jesus. I'm sure that I reminded Katherine as we drove to the evening service of my opinion that God was not in churches . I must have repeated my standing challenge, that God would have to touch me in a church, the way he had on the mountain top for me to believe. God tolerated and accepted my challenge. During the worship service the reality of his presence fell on me like a huge rock. I was so captivated by Him that I stood through the entire service. Fortunately, we were in the back row. The following week I responded to an altar call. The pastor asked me why I had come forward. I wasn't sure--- I told him “I want to be with Jesus”.
Within a year of my surrender to Jesus, Katherine and I sold our home and almost everything we owned. We loaded our two children into a beat up old Ford station wagon with a partly burned-out transmission and headed off for Dallas Texas to attend Christ for the Nations Institute. CFNI is a mission-based nondenominational Bible college started by Gordon Lindsay, an evangelist and teacher who came from the era of traveling tent ministries. We went there to know God more personally and in deeper way and to learn how to understand his word on our own.
The inspiration to head off to Texas came through a coworker that I was attempting to share salvation with one night, during lunch break. He asked me "how do you know ?" I had no answer for him. The fact is, at that point in my life the things that I thought I knew were all secondhand. I had not learned or read them for myself but I had been told them during a church service or Bible study. Please remember, my personality almost demands that I drop everything and dive in. Jesus had captivated my attention, three church services a week weren't enough --there was nothing else I could do. I didn't realize then that Church services, Sunday school, and Bible studies do more than just teach about God and his word, – they also build a sense of fellowship and community. I didn't understand yet that we learn, experience and share the love of Christ through close fellowship with one another. It's important to study and understand God's word but raw knowledge just become rules unless they are experienced through God's love.
For the next two and half years we were surrounded by the fellowship of other believers who shared our desire to understand and live in the kingdom. Every day, because of the communal intensity of the environment, we experienced his presence, His love and tenderness-- we witnessed God's miraculous powers in our family and those around us.
I knew the day that I committed to attend CFN I that God had called me to serve him. I didn't know how exactly or where but I was positive it wasn't in New Jersey. I used to boldly proclaim that I was never going back to New Jersey unless God drug me there kicking and screaming. That's exactly what he did. Once again God graciously and patiently tolerated then responded to my challenge.
After returning to New Jersey God blessed us with homes, good health and jobs, lots of jobs. Unfortunately, due to my own pride and callousness, we never became deeply connected to a fellowship of believers . Consequently there was no one who picked up the phone when we stopped showing up for Wednesday night and ultimately Sunday morning fellowship.
Left to fend for ourselves spiritually it was easy to drift away. God remained part of our lives but he was no longer central. When the normal everyday troubles of a young family came, as they always do, I ultimately would look back up at God and asked for his help. In his completely unwavering love he was always there, He always answered.
Luke chapter 8 records Jesus’ parable of the sower.
..“A farmer went out to sow his seed. As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path; it was trampled on, and the birds ate it up. Some fell on rocky ground, and when it came up, the plants withered because they had no moisture. Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up with it and choked the plants. Still other seed fell on good soil. It came up and yielded a crop, a hundred times more than was sown.” …..
Jesus explains the parable starting in verse 11
..“The seed is the word of God. Those along the path are the ones who hear, and then the devil comes and takes away the word from their hearts, so that they may not believe and be saved. Those on the rocky ground are the ones who receive the word with joy when they hear it, but they have no root. They believe for a while, but in the time of testing they fall away. The seed that fell among thorns stands for those who hear, but as they go on their way they are choked by life’s worries, riches and pleasures, and they do not mature. But the seed on good soil stands for those with a noble and good heart, who hear the word, retain it, and by persevering produce a crop.
THANK GOD the seed that falls among the thorns does not die, our Lord is the perfect gardener. The certainty of God's love and our security in Christ is not based on our ability to be good or follow a set of rules. Our security and hope, yours and mine are based entirely on the goodness of Christ and the love of God Almighty. God is able, if we are willing, to plow up the hard ground, to remove the rocks and weed the garden because it is His will, His desire that we know him and be free to be transformed into the image of Jesus.
On August 25, 2005 I was buried alive 30 feet down as the result of a trenching accident. Almost all cave-in or trench accidents or fatal. The situation was so grim that the rescue workers, over hundred of them, didn't actually think that there was a hope of rescuing me. Some bystanders have told me that they treated it as a drill and a recovery operation. In fact they turned back the medevac helicopter that had been dispatched to take me to the hospital. With God's miraculous help I escaped that accident with nothing more than a scraped elbow. I foolishly interpreted God's grace as God's approval instead of running into his arms because of his miraculous intervention I blindly continued down my own thorn covered path.
Then the economy started to fall apart. The new housing market, where I made my living, went down the tubes. Over the years I had gone from doing odd jobs to be a senior purchasing manager of the world's third largest builder. To reduce costs the company chose to close down the central Jersey office where I was employed. Recognizing that I was about to be downsized took the offer to be CEO of a window company. I didn't seek God's guidance before making that decision. I should have, the company already in trouble and it soon lost its contracts and closed. There were too few jobs and too many good people available in the industry that I had worked in for the last 20 years. As a result salaries and wages went down drastically.
Against my wife's objections I formed a new remodeling company and went back into business for myself. This worked out well for two years and then the remodeling business drastically slowed as well. In 2009 the gaps between contracts grew progressively longer. All of the plans that I had so carefully formulated crumbled. Like quicksand, the more I tried the worse things became.
I thought we were over the hump when I was hired to build an addition on a house in Rumson. Then there was another addition project job, much closer to home. Between the two of these jobs 2010 was going to be okay, or so I thought.
In order to man the Rumson job I had formed a loose verbal partnership with another contractor. When the time came to begin the job the other contractor was AWOL. For many reasons, not the least of which were money and reputation, I was anxious to begin on time so I hired day laborers to serve as the necessary muscle and we began demolition. The other contractor would sort out whatever was going on in his life and return my calls any day, he didn’t. Demolition was completed and I put on my tool belt. We poured the footings, set the pillars, and framed the second floor deck. My 55-year-old bones were not enjoying it but this work is exhilarating and I was finding satisfaction in the fact that the job was moving forward. We were still on schedule.
We completed the roof framing and most of the roof sheathing on Saturday. The next day- Sunday- Katherine joined me as I captained the County pump-out boat on the lower Barnegat Bay. On Monday morning August 9th three strong young men helped me complete the roof sheathing.
The weatherman was predicting a nor'easter to hit the area in about four days. There was just enough time, to apply the roof shingles, hang the wall sheathing and watertight the addition, or so I thought.
The first words as my feet slipped out from under me were "Jesus please help me” then as I shot off the roof like a kid on a waterslide,, I hollered--, maybe screamed,-- to the neighbor “call 911”.
I fell accelerating to over 32 miles an hour. The concrete paved patio rushed up in slow motion for just over a second. I remember thinking, "this is really going to hurt", then blinding pain. We had been careful the week before to move the patio furniture to the backyard out of harms way before we began demolition. Miraculously the picnic table had reappeared on the patio. I don't recall seeing it that morning but the wreckage proves it was there.
The impact drove the ball at the head of my femur through my pelvis and broke my pelvis in two more places. My right forearm had multiple compound fractures, the bones in my forearm were shattered, both of my hands were broken, along with four ribs.--- One of my lungs had collapsed but I was alive and conscious.
The police officers that responded only minutes later were also the paramedics. One of them warned me before they picked me up, “were are going to have to hurt you”. He was right. I pleaded with them to give me something for the pain but they told me they couldn’t. There was some debate between them about what hospital they were going to take me to and during the trip they pulled over and stopped. I yelled to them “ make up your minds…lets get moving”, I didn't know how much longer I could hold on.
I never passed out but the effect of shock must've taken hold on me, from then on my memory is sketchy. I remember pulling into the hospital parking lot and the doors opening on the ambulance.
Then the faces of Katherine and my parents, their voices trying to reassure me that I was going to be OK. I felt God's healing power move from my father's hand into me, I knew they were right.
I don't know if they shot me full of painkillers, if it was shock or if I just finally passed out---- I woke up 5 1/2 weeks later-- Katherine was there. I would find out that she was almost always there. Sometimes with my parents, my children, my sister, Pastor Gene. There was also a never-ending parade of caregivers and doctors.
Loved ones tell me that I seem to wake up from time to time during the coma, then I would slip away. On one occasion Katherine asked me if I knew what happened. I told her that I fell off the roof. She then asked if I knew where landed I answered “in the palm of the hand of God”. Today nothing could convince me otherwise, He caught me.
Statistically I should be dead. I have been told there were times when I was only a heart beat away from that happening. The doctors were amazed that I could have the injuries that I did but not damaged my spine or cracked my skull. Some of them even use the word miracle.
The Bible teaches us that God knows the beginning and the end of all things, he knew us each long before we were born, and He has numbered our days. He knew that I would fall off that roof. Two days before the accident He set the wheels in motion to help my wife and family cope with what was about to happen.
My parents had been spending the summer with us. Several days before the accident mom and dad left to visit my brother in Maryland. Their plans were to go from my brother’s house then return to their home in Myrtle Beach to collect the mail and check on things. On Saturday, August 7th my father told my mother that he felt that they should change their plans come back to our house. He couldn't explain why he just thought they should. Mom agreed and on Sunday they drove the five hours back to our house. Dad had heard from the Holy Spirit and because he listened,--- because he listened they were standing in the room with Katherine when the police called to tell her, “Mrs. Cash, your husband is alive”.
How great is our God that he cares for us so tenderly and with such detail?
I laid in a coma for 51/2 weeks while a host of people who love me prayed for me. My ability to stand here before you now quite literally is a result of those prayers --God’s love, His power, and His willingness to answer prayer. My wife, children, family, Pastor Gene, many of you and hundreds of people around the world – most of whom I've never met called out to God on my behalf.
Some have told me about their prayers but if I tried to repeat their stories I would completely fall apart.
Something very special happened while I slept I don't have a visual memory of it but I know- without a doubt- that God touched me. In some way at some point I was in his presence. I’m sure of this because of the things I said and felt and knew when I woke up. Katherine and my parents will tell you that I couldn't speak his name for weeks without weeping, I still do. That I would cry and talk for hours about how grateful we should be that God would allow us to just sit in the corner in his banquet room let alone sit down at the table with him. I awoke with a new understanding of how incredibly wretched I actually am and that it is only by his love and grace that I shouldn't be instantly destroyed. This is not some case of self-loathing but a realization of His magnificence.
My new understanding of my own need for God's mercy comes with the un-yielding assurance that his mercy exceeds my need. That His mercy is driven by His love. I have been captivated by the reality that the most powerful God, the creator and sustainer of everything that there is actually knows me. He knows each one of us and cares for us individually, his love and mercy are unchanging and more real than anything else.
I believe that God is healing my body. I would like him to do it instantly and I know he is able but I also know that God's ways are not my ways and his purposes are higher than my purposes. Too often I have been to cavalier about His love and been careless with His treasures. Perhaps my limp will remind me of the truth?
Along the New Jersey coast there are boardwalks built over the dunes to give visitors access to the beach. I had a vision of one of those boardwalks during one of the long sleepless nights at the hospital. Along with the image came the thought that it's up to me to cross the Boardwalk to get to the beach, to get to the ocean- I love the ocean. I have choices; I can stay at the beginning of the boardwalk and never cross the dunes because the Boardwalk seems too long or too difficult. If I decide to cross the Boardwalk I can choose to look down and be distracted by the broken glass and empty beer cans or I can step over them, I can lift my eyes and look at the ocean, He calls to me. I could also choose at any time to sit down and stay where I am on the Boardwalk -- to just look at the ocean in the distance, but- I love the ocean, He calls my name and I am compelled to keep moving across the Boardwalk over the dunes, to the beach, to the ocean--- to Him.
The blessings I have received and witnessed from my fall far outweigh the cost. People turned their faces to God on my behalf and found him in the process. Lives have been changed, priorities reordered and relationships restored.
This isn't pleasant, this is life.
I don't know what any of you are going through but I'm sure you have your own obstacles, things to overcome, and a Boardwalk to cross. The obstacles are inevitable and the Boardwalk-- well it's really there to help us get were we need to be. So tonight I want to invite each of you,,,, come to the beach…. step over the obstacles,,, and fix eyes on Jesus. He never said it was going to be easy he said “he would never leave us or forsake us”
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Faith and Prayers
This is Bill's daughter Jenn. I'm not sure who is out there reading and keeping up, but I wanted to update people that are close to Dad on some news. As you may know, when Dad isn't boating, his main work is construction. On Monday August 9th he fell from a roof on a job site. God was certainly with him as he fell; he has no head, spine or major organ injuries. He fell 30 feet, but his fall was broken by a picnic table that somewhat protected him from the concrete pavement. All of his injuries are broken bones. The nurses and doctors keep reminding us that everything broken can be fixed. He will be recovering for quite some time. All of your prayers are much appreciated. We are surrounded and supported by the love of all the people that know Dad.
Thank you for any comments you leave here or on his facebook page.
Thank you for any comments you leave here or on his facebook page.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
blind faith
Last night I saw the most remarkable example of faith. I was watching the Winter Olympics, in particular Woman’s Freestyle Skiing. The weather conditions couldn’t have been much worse. It was snowing and foggy, very foggy. Competitor after competitor launched off the jump, 35 feet high in the air, twisted and turned doing aerobatics that to my mind defied the paws of physics. All the while blinded by the fog and unable to see the slope they hoped to stick a prefect landing on.
The maneuvers the preformed would be nothing short of remarkable in good conditions with good visibility. Last night they did it blind.
Consider the faith it takes to launch off a ski jump into a blind abyss. To do so with such confidence that you can spin and flip, knowing that at jus the right moment your skis would slap firmly onto the slope below.
The question came to mind, “how can they do that with such confidence?” The answer? Practice. These athletes have practiced these jumps so may times that they have NO doubt that the slope is going to be in the same place each and every time. They never give a thought to the possibility that anything could change.
Hebrews 11:1 Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.
Would you like to grow your faith? It comes by practice, by experience, by trusting God so often and in so may ways that there is no doubt that the slope will be there when your skis slap to the ground.
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Take a Stand
Come join me and sign this!!!!! As a Christian, as an American, is there any choice but to add our signatures and support for this?
http://www.manhattandeclaration.org/
The Manhattan Declaration
A Call of Christian Conscience
Christians, when they have lived up to the highest ideals of their faith, have defended the weak and vulnerable and worked tirelessly to protect and strengthen vital institutions of civil society, beginning with the family.We are Orthodox, Catholic, and evangelical Christians who have united at this hour to reaffirm fundamental truths about justice and the common good, and to call upon our fellow citizens, believers and non-believers alike, to join us in defending them. These truths are:
1. the sanctity of human life
2. the dignity of marriage as the conjugal union of husband and wife
3. the rights of conscience and religious liberty.
Inasmuch as these truths are foundational to human dignity and the well-being of society, they are inviolable and non-negotiable. Because they are increasingly under assault from powerful forces in our culture, we are compelled today to speak out forcefully in their defense, and to commit ourselves to honoring them fully no matter what pressures are brought upon us and our institutions to abandon or compromise them. We make this commitment not as partisans of any political group but as followers of Jesus Christ, the crucified and risen Lord, who is the Way, the Truth, and the Life.
http://www.manhattandeclaration.org/
The Manhattan Declaration
A Call of Christian Conscience
Christians, when they have lived up to the highest ideals of their faith, have defended the weak and vulnerable and worked tirelessly to protect and strengthen vital institutions of civil society, beginning with the family.We are Orthodox, Catholic, and evangelical Christians who have united at this hour to reaffirm fundamental truths about justice and the common good, and to call upon our fellow citizens, believers and non-believers alike, to join us in defending them. These truths are:
1. the sanctity of human life
2. the dignity of marriage as the conjugal union of husband and wife
3. the rights of conscience and religious liberty.
Inasmuch as these truths are foundational to human dignity and the well-being of society, they are inviolable and non-negotiable. Because they are increasingly under assault from powerful forces in our culture, we are compelled today to speak out forcefully in their defense, and to commit ourselves to honoring them fully no matter what pressures are brought upon us and our institutions to abandon or compromise them. We make this commitment not as partisans of any political group but as followers of Jesus Christ, the crucified and risen Lord, who is the Way, the Truth, and the Life.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Focus
Recently I heard a message message/question of why we don’t, more often, see the same instant power, the signs and wonders we read about in the Bible.
This is a question that has been on my heart as well for some time so I was doubly interested when I heard the question as a sermon topic. In my mind the question morphed beyond signs and wonders into why some churches are flourishing and growing while others seem to just limp along, then there are those that grow then shrink away. The answer became clear about 10 last night and more so around 4 this AM. It’s the focus. What is the focus of the church or the prayer.
“Then Peter, filled with the Holy Spirit, said to them: "Rulers and elders of the people! If we are being called to account today for an act of kindness shown to a cripple and are asked how he was healed, then know this, you and all the people of Israel: It is by the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, whom you crucified but whom God raised from the dead, that this man stands before you healed. 11He is " 'the stone you builders rejected, which has become the capstone. Salvation is found in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given to men by which we must be saved." (NIV Acts 4:8-12)
Peter didn’t heal the cripple for any reason other then that he was moved to by the Holy Spirit to do so. I am assuming the Holy Spirit moved him to glorify Christ in God (before men) as a testimony to the message the believers were speaking.The book of James stated you “have not because you ask not and when you ask you ask for the wrong reasons” (BC Translation) I cant prove it with chapter and verse but I’m pretty sure there is a nugget of truth here. Preaching Jesus and Jesus only is what brings life to churches and ministries. Great signs and wonders happen not just because He loves us but more so to validate HIS message. Taking HIS message, HIM, outside of the confines of the church building gives the Holy Spirit the opportunity to “prove” the message.That IS the message! “there is no other name under heaven given to men by which we must be saved." Through Jesus we can be united with the Father!
Focus on Him and everting else will come into view.
This is a question that has been on my heart as well for some time so I was doubly interested when I heard the question as a sermon topic. In my mind the question morphed beyond signs and wonders into why some churches are flourishing and growing while others seem to just limp along, then there are those that grow then shrink away. The answer became clear about 10 last night and more so around 4 this AM. It’s the focus. What is the focus of the church or the prayer.
“Then Peter, filled with the Holy Spirit, said to them: "Rulers and elders of the people! If we are being called to account today for an act of kindness shown to a cripple and are asked how he was healed, then know this, you and all the people of Israel: It is by the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, whom you crucified but whom God raised from the dead, that this man stands before you healed. 11He is " 'the stone you builders rejected, which has become the capstone. Salvation is found in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given to men by which we must be saved." (NIV Acts 4:8-12)
Peter didn’t heal the cripple for any reason other then that he was moved to by the Holy Spirit to do so. I am assuming the Holy Spirit moved him to glorify Christ in God (before men) as a testimony to the message the believers were speaking.The book of James stated you “have not because you ask not and when you ask you ask for the wrong reasons” (BC Translation) I cant prove it with chapter and verse but I’m pretty sure there is a nugget of truth here. Preaching Jesus and Jesus only is what brings life to churches and ministries. Great signs and wonders happen not just because He loves us but more so to validate HIS message. Taking HIS message, HIM, outside of the confines of the church building gives the Holy Spirit the opportunity to “prove” the message.That IS the message! “there is no other name under heaven given to men by which we must be saved." Through Jesus we can be united with the Father!
Focus on Him and everting else will come into view.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Catch the Vision
We were blessed to share some time over the past few weeks with my dear friend and brother Andrew McMillan. Andrew, his wife Kathy and their two sons, Andrew and Christian serve as missionaries in Colombia. Andrew had agreed, with God, to go to Colombia for two years, that was 23 years ago.
Just before he arrived he send me a copy of the attached letter he had written to someone in Texas. The power and vision of this letter humbles me.
My prayer is that the Lord will light in me such a fire as burns in Andrew. Better still would be that He lights this fire in all of us.
Dear Paul
I like talking about Abraham in Gen. 13:14 where God told him to climb up a mountain and look, and everything he could see, God would give it to him. God only said this after he separated himself from Lot (in the Hebrew : veil). So once we separate ourselves from fear, sin, self-pity or old securities, the veil is removed and we can see clearly the future full of revival. So, this morning, I feel like I am going up a mountain. Here is our vision for the next 10 years
*We launched 3 new churches this month. Wouldn’t it be wonderful to plant each new church with sound equipment, chairs, and a video projector (about $7,000 per church).
*Our children center now takes care of 157 kids(children of prostitutes and drug addicts). Our church is giving about $8,500 per month. It has been hard for us to keep it up, but how do you say no to kids? We also have two other ladies in the church with smaller centers for kids. We have a couple who are housing 12 street men. We have a small medical clinic for the poor. We could easily administer an extra $10,000 a month now. This does not include the dream to transform the day centers into orphanages. We are dreaming about building a home for the elderly next to the kids home, and have a place for pets, noise, joy, living confusion.
*For 3 years I have dreamed of a Bank of opportunities to give short term loans for starting small businesses. It would have a loan officer who would also teach classes on how to start and manage businesses. We would not loan to individuals but to groups of 2-3 people. This raises the payback rate up to 95%. For example, someone who wants to start a bakery would have to find two other people who also want to start their business, maybe a wedding dress rental store, or a beauty parlour.
*We just had 3 meetings on a Sunday in the city’s convention center. The Mayor and the president of the city council came…and some other big shots. We saw over 1,400 people saved. It cost $15,000. I would love to be there every month, maybe every 2 weeks, or even every Sunday when it is not rented out. If we had $120,000 to buy our own sound, we could make a deal with the city and be there at least every month for $4,500. The city would be changed. Jesus would be the talk of the town. (We need much better sound in the warehouse where we meet now. For $50,000 we could have sound that would bless 2,500 people in each meeting.) Many new people dont return because they cannot hear well.
*We are renting now,but we dream daily of a lot across the street that God has kept empty. The price is very high: 20,000 meters(215,000 sq. Feet) for 7 millon dollars. We dream of a place for 14,000 worshippers, a children’s church for 2,000 and 1,000, offices and schools and a university.
We are starting South American Christ for the Nations this coming August. I graduated from Yale Divinity School and for some time, did not have much faith is advanced education. But Yale was originally founded to train men to proprogate the Gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ. We need higher Holy Spirit education here….like an extention of Regent University. The buildings would have to have 2-3 levels of underground parking. So, we are talking millions. We are dreaming.
*Our boys, Andrew 18 and Christian 17, want to go to Regent Unversity and study Cinema & Television. They run our weekly TV program that aires on local secular stations. They have an anointing for it. I want this year to have a 3 minute program that gives a zinger to the heart. When we get the program on the daily news show, it would touch the city of 3 million people. We do not want to have a Christian TV channel. We think it is better to produce quality programs on the major secular channels on prime time. That is our dream. Christian TV channels seem to reduce the impact of the Gospel to a sub-culture, instead of being salt and light throughout the culture. So, my boys are dreaming of a huge studio for Christian soap operas, movies, reality shows, etc. For example, imagine a reality show where a group of Christians pick a poor house with problems and give them a soul lift, fixing up their house, helping them start a business, bring them to Jesus, heal their marriage and relationship with their kids, and bring them the Father’s love. Wow.
*Our marriage pastor, Lucho, dreams about a retreat center in town to have retreats ever weekend (We presently have retreats every weekend for the new believers outsider of the city). Pastor Lucho said to me, “Pastor, just think how it would be to have a building where everyone in the city would know where to go to recieve healing for their home. Imagine, 24 hour counselling, a room to show films like Fire Proof, etc.”
*Our evangelism pastor, Juan David, dreams of having a truck with sound, light and projection. My son, Andrew, dreamed about this when he was a little boy. We could have up to 5 cruzades every weekend.
*Our children pastor, Rafa, dreams of bringing the fire of revival to children churches. He and his wife have already touched about 800 church through conferences.
*Kathy and I will host the annual conference for pastors who are forgotten, struggling and tired. We bring them to Medellin and pay for their food, put them up in homes and in our retreat center. Last year we had 300. This year we hope to have over 500. We do all this for about $6,000. Imagine if we could put them up in nice hotels and send them homes like kings. Id like to do it twice a year.
*Our praise pastor, Manual, could take a few hours talking about instruments and lighting.
*Our pastor, Adolfo, over the new converts, dreams of having a call center with 200 volunteers.
So these are just some of our burning dreams. They keep us up at night. Sometimes they make us feel wonderful and alive and sometimes they make us feel foolish and idiotic. But we are fools for Christ.
Thank you for the opportunity to write my dreams.
Bless you brother.
Long live Paul for the Glory of Jesus.
Andrew
See see our latest video the boys produced and narrated, go on line:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dsRkKjdqMX8or just search Miracle in Medellin in youtube
Pastor Andrew & Kathy McMillan
Comunidad Cristiana de FeA A 58000Medellin, Colombia
www.fepaisa.com
Sowing Seed into Revival
Andrew & Kathy
Mission South America
P.O. Box 12523 Norfolk, VA 23541
Just before he arrived he send me a copy of the attached letter he had written to someone in Texas. The power and vision of this letter humbles me.
My prayer is that the Lord will light in me such a fire as burns in Andrew. Better still would be that He lights this fire in all of us.
Dear Paul
I like talking about Abraham in Gen. 13:14 where God told him to climb up a mountain and look, and everything he could see, God would give it to him. God only said this after he separated himself from Lot (in the Hebrew : veil). So once we separate ourselves from fear, sin, self-pity or old securities, the veil is removed and we can see clearly the future full of revival. So, this morning, I feel like I am going up a mountain. Here is our vision for the next 10 years
*We launched 3 new churches this month. Wouldn’t it be wonderful to plant each new church with sound equipment, chairs, and a video projector (about $7,000 per church).
*Our children center now takes care of 157 kids(children of prostitutes and drug addicts). Our church is giving about $8,500 per month. It has been hard for us to keep it up, but how do you say no to kids? We also have two other ladies in the church with smaller centers for kids. We have a couple who are housing 12 street men. We have a small medical clinic for the poor. We could easily administer an extra $10,000 a month now. This does not include the dream to transform the day centers into orphanages. We are dreaming about building a home for the elderly next to the kids home, and have a place for pets, noise, joy, living confusion.
*For 3 years I have dreamed of a Bank of opportunities to give short term loans for starting small businesses. It would have a loan officer who would also teach classes on how to start and manage businesses. We would not loan to individuals but to groups of 2-3 people. This raises the payback rate up to 95%. For example, someone who wants to start a bakery would have to find two other people who also want to start their business, maybe a wedding dress rental store, or a beauty parlour.
*We just had 3 meetings on a Sunday in the city’s convention center. The Mayor and the president of the city council came…and some other big shots. We saw over 1,400 people saved. It cost $15,000. I would love to be there every month, maybe every 2 weeks, or even every Sunday when it is not rented out. If we had $120,000 to buy our own sound, we could make a deal with the city and be there at least every month for $4,500. The city would be changed. Jesus would be the talk of the town. (We need much better sound in the warehouse where we meet now. For $50,000 we could have sound that would bless 2,500 people in each meeting.) Many new people dont return because they cannot hear well.
*We are renting now,but we dream daily of a lot across the street that God has kept empty. The price is very high: 20,000 meters(215,000 sq. Feet) for 7 millon dollars. We dream of a place for 14,000 worshippers, a children’s church for 2,000 and 1,000, offices and schools and a university.
We are starting South American Christ for the Nations this coming August. I graduated from Yale Divinity School and for some time, did not have much faith is advanced education. But Yale was originally founded to train men to proprogate the Gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ. We need higher Holy Spirit education here….like an extention of Regent University. The buildings would have to have 2-3 levels of underground parking. So, we are talking millions. We are dreaming.
*Our boys, Andrew 18 and Christian 17, want to go to Regent Unversity and study Cinema & Television. They run our weekly TV program that aires on local secular stations. They have an anointing for it. I want this year to have a 3 minute program that gives a zinger to the heart. When we get the program on the daily news show, it would touch the city of 3 million people. We do not want to have a Christian TV channel. We think it is better to produce quality programs on the major secular channels on prime time. That is our dream. Christian TV channels seem to reduce the impact of the Gospel to a sub-culture, instead of being salt and light throughout the culture. So, my boys are dreaming of a huge studio for Christian soap operas, movies, reality shows, etc. For example, imagine a reality show where a group of Christians pick a poor house with problems and give them a soul lift, fixing up their house, helping them start a business, bring them to Jesus, heal their marriage and relationship with their kids, and bring them the Father’s love. Wow.
*Our marriage pastor, Lucho, dreams about a retreat center in town to have retreats ever weekend (We presently have retreats every weekend for the new believers outsider of the city). Pastor Lucho said to me, “Pastor, just think how it would be to have a building where everyone in the city would know where to go to recieve healing for their home. Imagine, 24 hour counselling, a room to show films like Fire Proof, etc.”
*Our evangelism pastor, Juan David, dreams of having a truck with sound, light and projection. My son, Andrew, dreamed about this when he was a little boy. We could have up to 5 cruzades every weekend.
*Our children pastor, Rafa, dreams of bringing the fire of revival to children churches. He and his wife have already touched about 800 church through conferences.
*Kathy and I will host the annual conference for pastors who are forgotten, struggling and tired. We bring them to Medellin and pay for their food, put them up in homes and in our retreat center. Last year we had 300. This year we hope to have over 500. We do all this for about $6,000. Imagine if we could put them up in nice hotels and send them homes like kings. Id like to do it twice a year.
*Our praise pastor, Manual, could take a few hours talking about instruments and lighting.
*Our pastor, Adolfo, over the new converts, dreams of having a call center with 200 volunteers.
So these are just some of our burning dreams. They keep us up at night. Sometimes they make us feel wonderful and alive and sometimes they make us feel foolish and idiotic. But we are fools for Christ.
Thank you for the opportunity to write my dreams.
Bless you brother.
Long live Paul for the Glory of Jesus.
Andrew
See see our latest video the boys produced and narrated, go on line:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dsRkKjdqMX8or just search Miracle in Medellin in youtube
Pastor Andrew & Kathy McMillan
Comunidad Cristiana de FeA A 58000Medellin, Colombia
www.fepaisa.com
Sowing Seed into Revival
Andrew & Kathy
Mission South America
P.O. Box 12523 Norfolk, VA 23541
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
.JPG)
.JPG)
